Friday, September 19, 2008

1....2....3....Go back!

I couldn't believe what was happening in front of my eyes. After the night which reminded me of every incident that I witnessed in the college which was the ground for few highly disappointing events and many joyful occasions that threw me into a state of ecstasy, things were like bolts from the blue now. Visions are deceptive. I know that. But, I wished what were happening to be true and that forced me to believe whatever was happening. Wouldn't you call me a crackpot if I tell you I was seeing God standing in front of me? I was completely taken aback. I can see God. But, I can't explain his appearance. I can hear God's voice. But I can't tell you what he sounded like. But, I can sure tell you what he told me. He said "I found you poignant, thinking of the past, last night and here I am with a wish for you. I give you three chances to go back in time. Once you go back into the past, you would forget everything that happened now and you won't have anything in your memory beyond that day where you land up on in the past. But, when you again reach a point of time where you feel the same way as you did last night, you'll be destined to meet me again and you can take your second chance to get back to some other point in the past you wish to be at. And after that, once again we'll meet and if you still wish to live your past, I can give you a final chance". I wasn't sure whether I was really giving ears to The God. But, the offer looked attractive. I said "I am okay with it", without expressing anything that was within me at that moment.

1st chance. I decided to go back a little far into the past and suddenly I found a tall woman in green sari, approximately 5 feet, rebuking me for not having my lunch. I felt it was too big a situation for a 6 year old boy to face in a play school. But, fate is now the driver. I have no choice but to sit back and watch it screw me. Its 1.P.M and time to sleep. The 'aayaa' in green threatened all the kids in the play school with a cane to make them get to their mattresses that are spread on the floor. I didn't want to risk my 2 and a half feet tall body and took my position on the floor. I was frustrated but not mellowed down by looking at my freedom crumbling to pieces in the aayaa's hand. That brought some tears in my eyes. After weeping for few minutes, I found myself in the fantasy world of sleep. As years passed by, I kept my heart fixed on my childhood days. I realized that people are so self-centered and the world is turning into a place for cannibals. I now found the aayaa in green saree quite good among the lot. I hardly relinquished my childhood memories even after completing three years of engineering. I was forced to face few uncomfortable situations. I was forced to give up certain things I loved. The night dawned upon me when I realized I should have changed the course my life has taken in the first year of graduation. It was the night when God reappeared. He went on with the rules again and we are done with the agreement.

2nd chance. I decided to go back to the day when I stepped into the 6th standard for the first time. I remembered nothing about the future. I lacked even the slightest of maturity in me. I was, as usual, late to the school and the teacher seemed winded up. I couldn't help it. This is the way I've been all along though my place is just 2 minutes by walk from my school. I felt I've been living the worst life among the humans alive today. In no position to take the tests that are scheduled to be held in a fortnight, I found myself losing the essence of good life. At the end of 6th standard, I found I had scored the maximum number of single digit marks in the series of tests that were conducted throughout, the year in the class. I was frustrated, again, but not disappointed. My life was lying low till I completed my schooling and now its time for me to gather all my efforts to become an Engineer in another 4 years. Now, I felt it would be nice to get back the past and had a heartening night. It's now time for God to reappear. This time, he explained to me the rules of the game, again, and reduced the chance count by one. I replied "I am okay with it" since I was an innocent kid who was flatly dumbfounded.

3rd chance. My hair was drenched by oil. I looked like a newborn in the place where they said they make engineers. From what I heard, I understood that it’s a place where professionals dwell. I have never confronted professionalism in my life. So far, I've been a mediocre student and not a nerd with spectacles. I even doubted my capabilities which I expected to be way below what is really required to become an Engineer. I found it difficult to get along with my fellow engineering aspirants initially. But, as days passed, I found it’s not so tough to make good friends if I prove myself to be a good one. I worked out well on relationships with my friends. Four years of graduation filled with frequent ups and downs has been strongly imprinted in my heart and now I feel I should go back to the 1st year and start correcting the things that went utterly wrong and relishing every second I missed by staying closer to unpleasant incidents than to those which made my life worth living. Well, you know what would happen now. God appeared again because the very thought of the past is all that is needed to invoke The God. But this time, he carried a new message for me.

He said "This isn't the first time you're feeling this way. I've already given you three chances. But, still you are not satisfied with your life. That is because you put your past above your present. You consider what you lost bigger than what you gained in life through life. Things look good when you don't possess them. When you get your hands on them, they start souring. This is what humans are all about. I didn't take more than 5 minutes to take you through all these. But, it appeared to you as if you lived your life thrice already. And when you wake up and come to know that you've been dreaming all along, you still won't be able to realize your mistake of attaching more importance to the past and you will wish whatever happened in the last 5 minutes were true. That is because you belong to the race of humans who can never be satisfied. Wake up. The 'pongal' shop is already open. Have a great day and start living your life at least today"

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